Touche

Getting humbled, one way or another

Ski Etiquette February 24, 2010

Filed under: Pithy attempts at humor,Skiing — sarahallen24 @ 4:28 pm

Working at a ski area means there’s hardly ever a dull moment. There’s always some crazy event coming up (i.e Dummy Jump, Pond Skim), something weird to be heard over the radio, some baffling request by a guest, or some animal running around the office in the summer.

Counting it up, I’ve skied at least 20 different resorts throughout the Rocky Mtns and no matter where, I always see blatant violations of ski etiquette…sometimes it’s just total inability to see past their own nose. As an employee, here’s my list of ski etiquette that I wish we all understood.

1.  The lift line will not move faster with you standing on my skis. Despite the laws of physics, this is just plain common sense.

2.  If you can’t link turns on a black run, practice more on other runs first! Don’t side slip all the way down and then tell all your friends how you can ride blacks. It’s called human-groomin and thank you, but those services are not needed.

3.  Don’t fart in the gondola or tram. The reasons are obvious.

4.  Don’t badger the ticket office or ski patrol about the snow conditions (i.e. too little snow, too much snow, too soft, too hard, too icy, too cold, too white or whatever). They aren’t in charge of snowfall. That person’s name is God and you can take it up with Him.

5.  Don’t cuss out the receptionist. She definitely had nothing to do with whatever your long underwear is in a bunch over.

6.  Don’t ski up through the lift line and then realize that you want to wait for Bob in the load area. Lifties should require that you go back and start all over again. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

7.  Throwing down the safety bar before warning others could get you chucked off the lift.

8.  If you get first tracks on a run, don’t zig zag all over the run like a schizophrenic rabbit. Ski a nice line and leave some pow for others.

9.  Don’t jabber away on your phone on the lift. Especially when it’s about your friend’s cousin that is such a ____ because of what she did with who last night at the party. In fact, leave the phone in the car. You’re in the mountains!

10.  And please, don’t corner the marketing girl at the grocery store with your thoughts on running a ski area. I’m in sweat pants and buying chocolate. That’s a big clue.

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